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Thursday, March 20, 2008

The past in me

The past is never really the past. It stays with me all the time.
-Norman Bates, Psycho III

For those who had watched the movies Pscyo, Psycho II or Psycho III, you know that no matter how hard Norman Bates tries to forget the 'Mother', he will always be haunted by 'her' and became 'her' and the urge to kill will never stop...

So, that was the story of Norman Bates.

The story of makcik ni from shah alam here would be different.

The past is the past but it never really leave you, people will always remember your past, no matter what you became now...

"Ko kenal tak penyanyi yang nama Jamal tu? Ala... yang hisap dadah tu la... yang masuk keluar masuk keluar pusat serenti tu...."

Why not:

"Ko kenal tak penyanyi yang nama Jamal tu? Ala ... yang berlakon filem Azura tu... yang handsome, yang tinggi, yang suaranya sedap sangat nyanyi lagu Gadis Melayu tu..."

Contoh lain:

"Si Zarina tu dulu pernah bergambar bogel tau untuk majalah lucah"
Walhal, Zarina tu dah insaf dan hajjah dah sekarang.

People will never forget.

I did complaint that I was feeling bored because I don't have any activities to do beside surfing the internet and blogging. So, I have found this wonderful website where I got to know a lot of new friends, involved in their activities, until one day, somebody from my past contacted me.... oh... I really hate to say that I am not even happy to this so called 'jejak kasih'....

May be I was happy for the first few moments but when he started to recall my past, it just stroke me in the head that "damn, how many people knew about that?"

I pulled myself out immediately, feeling ashamed and angry... I realised that once, I was not a good girl. I did thing that I shouldn't. When you are a lot younger, you never thought that whatever that you do will be remembered when you are older. You just thought that you are young and you wanna to try things.

That is why, I always remind my little sister to "remember that whatever bad things that you do today and proud of, you will actually live to regret it in the future. Believe it because I have gone through it!"

I wrote in my previous blog quite sometimes ago that I don't like re-union, alumni, gathering or whatever they called it, one of the reason is this - because I don't people to remeber my past and I don't want to remember it too.

Then, does this mean I can not become 'somebody' in the future, like somebody famous, politician may be, high rank government officer may be?

13 comments:

  1. I don't like my old me, but I guess what my old me did was something I could use to teach myself and to help me raise my children to be better than their mum.

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  2. Wan
    Exactly Wan, I will always remind my kids because I ate more salt then them... heheheh

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  3. aiseh now i dah curious nak tau apa yg notti yg ni dah buat. i pulak believe the past is the past. anyway now i am experiencing, yg i tak buat pun org mengata. org ni kalau nak kutuk kita tak kira past aja, present, future pun dia akan kutuk. so its up to us to decide who we really are, our worth etc and not let other ppl decide who we are. stuju?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mama Ranggie
    Ni mesti tak perasan siapa kita ni.. tak pe, nanti kita email ya...


    Anon
    Siapa ni? Kalau nak tahu bolehlah kita email... Saya tahu orang tetap akan mengutuk, cuma saya takut orang yang tahu tu akan menyebarkan cerita2 tak elok ni kepada orang lain... tapi sebenarnya kita tak boleh buat apa pun dah kan... dah berlaku... kena accept lah...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear, I agree with you 100%. Orang suka sangat cerita buruk orang lain instead of cerita kebaikan dia. Seribu kebaikan akan terhapus dengan setitik dosa. Tapi tidak di mata Allah s.w.t.

    How could a person possibily be good in the eyes of other people if many talk and only remember about the bad things that a person did? Never! And, the intention to be good pun will slowly diminish sebab dia rasa, buat apa nak jadi baik kalau orang hanya akan ingat keburukan saja kan.

    About the bad history ni kan, I think many and a lot of people are like yourself (myself too). Time changed us. Tapi, kalau ada insan insan yang tak di undang yang 'generous' nak bercerita tentang our past, I don't welcome that at all.

    Kita sama sama berdoa my dear, semoga dijauhkan dari insan2 tak di undang ni...

    ReplyDelete
  6. aku agak dah..ni mesti ada 'cerita' behind the closure of ur previous blog..kalau aku tutup kedai tu logik la gak..ini hang..

    hehe..

    biaq pi la apa orang kata..mulut org bukan boleh tutup..so long as Boss kat atas tahu yang kita menyesal with whatever that we did b4..

    ReplyDelete
  7. i like this new page.. fresh new look!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Neeza
    You tau tak sesi jejak kasih tu bermula something like this "Dulu you begini -begini kan?"

    and I was like,

    "Yeah, but... I was just fooling around"

    and then,

    "Who told you that?"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Atiza
    Kiranya aku ni kategori tegar gak ke?

    Pada aku la, dia tu kan just ruined the 'suppose to be beautiful jejak kasih'... we haven't met for about 20 years actually...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ubisetela
    Thanks! I'm glad you like it..

    ReplyDelete
  11. Kalau neeza la jadi Ahni.. rasanya neeza akan cakap kat orang tu, you salah orang ni.. and terus blah.. sakit jugak hati bila ada yang nak ingatkan balik benda yang dah jadi sejarah hitam ni..

    ReplyDelete
  12. anon tu i lah, terlupa nak sign.

    tenah

    ReplyDelete